Guide Billy Bunter Among The Cannibals (Billy Bunter, Book 7)

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But it was not 'accident'.


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It was Axident. Prout gazed at it. His face, always ruddy, became purple. He gazed at that paper: then he lifted his eyes from it, and gazed at Coker. He seemed at a loss for words. Even Coker felt a slight qualm, at the expression on Prout's face. Among the other Fifth-formers, a pin might have been heard to drop. The dead silence in Prout's form-room was quite painful. It could almost have been cut with a knife.

19- The Banishing of Billy Bunter.pdf

Prout found his voice at last. Coker, your spelling is a disgrace to a senior form. It would be a disgrace to the Second or Third Form, Coker. You made this absurd error in form this morning, Coker, and I gave you the correct spelling of this simple word. Yet you persist in spelling the word a-x-i-d-e-n-t.

Coker this is not merely obtuseness. It is not merely stupidity. It is impertinenceit is unparalleled impertinence. I shall deal severely with you for this, Coker. Prout picked up the cane from his desk. Coker gave quite a start. He had not expected that! Really, he might have! But he hadn't!

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The cane that lay on Prout's desk was seldom, if ever, used in Prout's form-room. Senior men were not caned, as a rule. Caning was all very well in Quelch's form-room, or Capper's, or Hacker's. Not in Prout's. It was beneath the dignity of the Fifth Form and the Fifth-form master. But evidently, for once, Prout was going to use that cane! He gripped it with an almost convulsive grip. He swished it in the air. Bend over! He did not obey. It seemed difficult for him to assimilate the fact that he, Horace James Coker, of the Fifth Form, was bidden to bend over, like a junior in the Remove, or a fag in the Third.

He still seemed unable to get it down. What Coker had expected, when he showed up that remarkable paper to Prout, would be hard to say. Perhaps he had not expected anything at all. At all events he had not expected this! I am going to cane you, severely! Bend over this instant. For a moment longer Coker hesitated.

All eyes in the Fifth were on him. All could see that Coker was thinking of disobeying that order. The Fifth-form men watched him, breathless. Perhaps some remnant of common sense lingered somewhere in Coker's solid head. Slowly very slowly, in deep, deep indignation Coker bent over. It was a full 'six'. It was six of the very best. Prout was portly. He was plump. He was a little short of wind. But he put his beef into it. The cane fairly rang on Coker's trousers: every whop accompanied by a gasp from Coker. Prout stopped at six: the immemorial limit.

He looked disposed to go on: indeed, he looked like making it sixty. However, he stopped at six, and laid the cane on his desk. Yes, sir! May I fetch it from my study, sir? Five fellows, in that form, looked at Bunter quite expressively. It was history in that class, and every fellow was expected to bring in his book.


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  • Billy Bunter was going to get out of the form-room while every other fellow was in form. Five fellows did not need telling that William George Bunter was more interested in a parcel in a Fifth-form study, than in a book in a Remove study! Billy Bunter gave the Famous Five a grinning blink, as he rolled away to the door. Those interfering beasts couldn't butt in now. The artful fat Owl had beaten them to it! The form-room door closed after Bunter. Billy Bunter's fat paws could no longer be kept at a safe distance from Coker's parcel. The fat Owl grinned as he rolled away down the corridor, and headed for the stairs.

    He lost no time. Quelch would expect him back in a few minutes with the book. He had no time to lose. He heaved his weight up the staircase at uncommon speed. On the study landing he did not head for the Remove passage. He had no time to bother about history books! He rolled up the Fifth-form passage to Coker's study. There was the parcel on Coker's table, just as it had been left!

    Billy Bunter's little round eyes fairly danced behind his big round spectacles. Only too well, he knew what that parcel was likely to contain: it was the parcels from Aunt Judy that made Coker's study like unto a land flowing with milk and honey, and had a considerable influence in helping Horace Coker to retain the loyal friendship of Potter and Greene.

    Billy Bunter fairly jumped at that parcel. He clutched it.

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    He was tempted to unpack it on the spot, and sample the contents. But he dared not lose time. That parcel was well and truly packed, with plenty of string and innumerable knots. No time was available for unpacking, and feasting in Coker's study. That joy was to come later. All that Billy Bunter could do at the moment was to make sure of the parcel, leaving the feast till he had leisure for it. He rolled out of Coker's study with Coker's parcel under his armno longer Coker's.

    Billy Bunter Of Greyfriars School [1961] 4/4

    Possession is said to be nine points of the Law: and Bunter did not bother about the other point. The parcel was in his possession: and nine points of the Law were good enough for Billy Bunter, in matters of tuck. In such matters Billy Bunter seemed constitutionally unable to see any difference between meum and tuum. Coker could have left his wallet, stuffed with Aunt Judy's currency notes, on his table, and Bunter would not have given it a single blink. But where tuck was concerned, William George Bunter was nothing more or less than a bold bad bandit. Tuck was irresistible.

    Somehow or other, it always seemed to Bunter that if there was tuck about, he was entitled to devour it. Unnumbered currency notes would not have tempted him an inch from the straight and narrow path of rectitude. But a single chunk of toffee was too much for his powers of resistance. He did not even think about it. Thinking was never Bunter's long suit.